A Christmas Story 2017

When pastoring I would write a story for Christmas Eve to read at the candlelight service. Here is the story I wrote this year.

Well, its supposed to be my time of year, yet I don’t have a “Ho, Ho, Ho” left. I keep musing “How can I do this all again?” I don’t mean the actual how. With timing and technology I can get all my deliveries done in a little under two days. I play with the international date line to expand my reach. I don’t rely on a sleigh and reindeer any more. I miss those days of wind in my beard and my girls flying at top speed. The world population hasn’t been small enough for that method for a century or more.

So how do I do it now you ask? First, the sleigh is bigger on the inside, than it looks from the outside, very much like the Doctor’s Tardis police box. If you didn’t understand that explanation, ask a geeky friend. How I make the trip itself is my secret. I will say it involves a lot of theoretical physics. 

In fact our whole set up is high tech. We have been working with the Japanese and others to develop bleeding edge robots for toy manufacturing. Name a large toy and/or game maker and we likely supply their product. Our North Pole factory has been totally green since the turn of the millennium. Batteries and other energy storage devices are charged to capacity. 

But back to my current dilemma. Listen, when you are a few hundred years old you may ramble a bit as well. It’s Christmas Eve and I just don’t want to spend the next 48 hours delivering toys. I’m certainly not in it for the cookies. If I could collect them all, we would be stuck with tons of them uneaten. Thanks, I’m sure they are great, but I can’t take the time to collect them.  Keep putting out the reindeer food. Mrs Claus makes a mean salad from the greens for the staff, including yours truly. 

I snowshoe rabbit trailed again. So sorry. The only way to get past my Christmas funk is to remember the basics. I walk out to my “sleigh” and kneel in the snow. Just kneeling reminds me Who is in charge. “Lord of the universe, Master of Time and Space I bow my heart and mind before you. Once again I face a task too large for me. I need to be reminded again of why.” The North Pole falls away. I find myself surrounded by Snow White light. This light strikes warm, vibrant and intelligent. This charged light stretches to forever in all directions. Ground and wind are gone in the presence of this light. I float directionless in the wise existence of God. As I reach out in thought I feel the intelligence reaching back. We are in communion. 

Then I feel part of the infinite close off. The eternal presence changes shrinks a bit.The shock of loss drives me to ask, “What just happened?”

As my question echoes through the Being, reality shifts to a night sky over a mountainous field. I am surrounded by shining presences. One falls from us illuminating a few motley men below. After many seconds the company lifts themselves into fantastic song of praise. My insides melt at the loving tones that surround me. When they cease I tear up. I can’t help it. I will never hear such love and joy again. We shift to an ancient barn. A young couple surrounds a newborn, the One just hailed in song. His is wrapped in not quite clean strips of cloth and is sleeping in a rough splintered wedding trough.

Yet again the scene transforms. I recognize the young woman, though the years seem to have landed on her and bent her low. Her tears form muddy tracks down her cheeks. She glances up at a tortured man spread eagled against the sky turning away and drawn back to her son’s agony. His beaten and broken body has been cruelly tacked to a beam of wood to die. Eyes flaming with the light of eternity, Jesus gazes at me. His voice sounds in my consciousness, “I love you, Nicholas.” He bows his head in death. My tears mercifully crowd out the rest of the scene.

I lay wrapped in darkness. I don’t know or care how long. My pulse is my only companion. I hate its rhythm. It feel like that muscle is jeering his death. Sunrise begins to crawl over mountains. My place shifts again. I float over evenly spaced stones, many rolled over holes, closing the decaying dead from the living. A few stones wait for others to die. One stone casts its shadow over gloomy, bored soldiers. It has been marked and sealed shut. I wait. Light streaks down from the sky, two streaks of holy intelligence. The first breaks upon the soldiers. They rise in terror to run, then their hearts fail them and they fall to the ground. As they lay low shaking their heads and regaining their wits the second angel joins the first. The take up posts at either side of the stone. The greatest unboxing of all time is about to take place! Spears and swords of light jab out around the stone! Glowing fingers reach from inside, grab the stone and roll it out of the way. The dead man inside, Jesus, steps forth as each angel takes a knee. Jesus looks at me once again. His voice speaks to my thoughts, “As I have come through death, so shall you, Nicholas, so shall you.”

God lets me go and I am once again kneeling in the snow, my heart thudding in my ears. He gave the gift of his life, his heavenly life and then his earthly life for me. My heart responds to that thought, “I want to  give to as many as I can! Even If I can give just a sliver of joy and hope I have in Jesus!” With a grin I jump in my sleigh and shout “Merry Christmas world!”

Why they kneel.

As I offer this theory, I need to qualify myself. I have never lived in the United States as a black man.  One black gentleman around my age has described 7 police stops in 6 months while driving his one year old Lexus. I can't wrap my mind around that. I have never felt that I could land in jail or worse from a traffic stop.

I have never lived in an urban area. I have never served as a police officer. I have never held the fear that my next interaction with a sketchy character could be my last. So any theory I offer is arising from a lack of actual experience and from observation only.

From Colin Kaepernick on I have been perplexed with kneeling for the anthem. The national anthem, of course, is a song about the flag of the United States of America, rather than about our country itself. It was written in the ebbing flames of a battle during the revolutionary war when the flag still flying would be a sign of victory. The first verse ends with a question, "Oh say, does that star spangled banner yet wave, Oe'r the land of the free and the home of the brave." If the flag is still waving over us, we are still free from Great Britain or anyone else, because this is where the brave defenders of our flag and freedom live.

We rise out of respect for the flag. In fact, I was taught to focus on the second star, since my home state, Pennsylvania, joined the union second, just behind Deleware. We place our right hands over our hearts to honor the flag.

So why kneel? Turning away from the flag and showing it my back would easily be understood as a total rejection of the anthem's claims of freedom and bravery. Refusing to stand and sitting through the anthem would have shown unconcern for the flag and all it represents. Kneeling first says, "I can't stand for the anthem's description of our country as 'the land of the free and the home of the brave.'" Kneeling also says, "I kneel out of respect for those ideals as the ones that count."

Kneeling is also a position of respect. We kneel in prayer to acknowledge God's greatness compared to me. We kneel in a huddle to get everyone's attention and focus to explain what the team needs to do next. We kneel after catching a punt of kickoff to signal we are not going to run. Kneeling is a signal to get attention.

Now I am crossing way out of my life experience. Kneeling during the anthem is a signal that the person doesn't see the United States as the land of the free, not everyone who lives here is free. Kneeling during the anthem is a signal that the kneeler doesn't see the United States as the home of the brave, because many key decisions in this country are made from fear.

Are the kneelers right? They have our attention. Will we look beyond our experience to see?

NRA, M16s and Charlottesville

Those who support the ability of good citizens to be allowed to own firearms for hunting, target practice and self defense should be distressed by the images that came out of Charlottesville this Saturday. The scenes of so called "militia" from other towns, counties and states lining the streets with their military gear and weapons was NOT a statement about the right to bear arms.

Instead, it was an attempt at intimidation of the worst kind. These folks were not defending their homes or hunting for food or target shooting on a range, they were showing force. They wanted anyone and everyone to know that disagreeing with them could get you seriously injured. They signaled that they were ready to use deadly force on other human beings from a distance.

Every law abiding hunter and marks person should be declaring their distance from these folks. All NRA members should be on the phone or internet demanding a rejection from the association of this display of firearms. A quick look on the NRA blog showed no such condemnation.

Why I love the alt righters

In short, I love the alt righters because God wants me to. I also love the protesters of the alt righters for the same reason. Jesus was nailed to a cross because of jealousy and greed and hate. Proud Roman conquerors drove the nails through his flesh and blood. Yet his first words after recovering from the procedure were "Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing."

You and I witnessed such ignorance this weekend. Driven by pride and hate folks gathered in Charlottesville to display their power and remind the country who has it. Their display threw hatred at their enemies, which was caught like a plague. Protesters on both sides heaved their frustration and selfishness back and forth at each other, until the real end of hate was revealed by a Hitler lovin' driver who mowed people down with his automobile.

The same pride and ignorance that looked at Jesus and said, "This Jew doesn't matter, just another scum to die," surged through the man who picked up the newspaper machine and heaved it at another human being. Yet Jesus forgave these men in their sins and submitted to their cruelty, because He genuinely loved them.

I have to do the same and I have to do it as quickly and totally as Jesus did. Because you and I saw how contagious hate is. We have witnessed how pride leads to more pride that blinds us. To allow any sort of hate in me towards the alt right is dangerous for me and those around me.

We find another truth in Jesus' death as well. His consuming love for all, even those torturing him to death has power as well. We saw modern examples of this love in well known followers of Jesus, such as Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King. For the only force that can defeat hate is love.

Tea and Consent

This animation was shared by the Thames Valley Police to help 21st century sexual adults understand consent for sex. Take a look.





Clever and clear as to its meaning, the video gives several scenarios that a 21st century sexual adult could encounter with advice for how to parse a decision of whether to engage in the act of sex or not. It is also a video that is needed in this time of sexual confusion.



The  mores guarding the sex act have been roughly erased and written over time and again in the last 50 years. This video necessarily starts by equating the act of sex with the friendly act of tea. In this age of contraception and morning after pills, the act of sex might only have as many consequences as drinking a cup of tea.



Let's suppose a couple is fully protected with healthy non STD bodies and responsible contraceptive measures by both partners. Let's suppose both partners have previously engaged in intercourse with others and are not virgins. Let's suppose both partners are reasonably sober, they could legally drive, and that they are reasonably attracted to each other. What happens when they consent to have sex vs tea?



If they consent to have tea, their clothes stay on. If they consent to have sex, the highly personal parts of their bodies are given to the other. If they consent to have tea, they can enjoy friendly conversation and get to know the other person deeply. It is not near as likely for meaningful conversation to develop during sex. When the tea is over, there are no expectations of more than tea, its just a relaxing few minutes with a friend. This is not so clear with the sex act. Now some would say that this confusion stems from out dated morals that need to be forgotten. Yet, even a social Darwinist might concur that a sexually protected and promiscuous society is doomed to instability without some sort of procreation and stable family structure.



I understand the power of "Tea and Consent" to help in the day and age. I would add that the sex act is much more than "a spot of tea."

My Son Received An Award

My son received an Award last night. The principal did not describe it. The award was not monetary or named for a deceased alum. No community club or business sponsored the award. Let me tell you about it.

First, to qualify for the award you have to graduate from public school while wearing the hood of autism from start to finish. This hood does funky things to your senses. For Ian it was sound and smell. Either on or both of these senses could derail learning for minutes or hours as he sought to understand and deal with them. Squeaking chairs, tapping pencils, a new smell in the room, an old smell in the room he didn't like, the hood of autism would let these through and keep them close, while Ian was trying to learn.

Second, to qualify for this award you had to show courage, daily courage. Wearing the hood of autism causes stumbles, and misunderstandings and social frustrations. Ian was bullied from first grade on for wearing the hood of autism, a hood he didn't choose and couldn't shed. All through elementary school he persevered, even as his own parents didn't know about the hood and its effects. Kind teachers helped him and saw flashes of his brilliance. Other teachers only witnessed the anger and frustration of a boy walking through his day wearing a hood. Even up until this past fall Ian's peers couldn't understand him and proceeded to bully him for it to the point of tears. Yet Ian finished.

His brilliance shown through in several classes all the way through his public school career. I remember a project he did with Minecraft. He built an exact replica of Ross castle in Scotland with the correct landscape outside and each room exact inside. He did this while wearing the hood of autism.

If there was a plaque given with this award, Ian's senior words could go on it. He wrote, "After 12 years of public education, I glimpse ahead and have a sense that the next few years will be an important stepping stone that will shape the path on which my future will be built. I am ready to set this stone and leave it behind me as I tread my own path."

These are the words of a young man who has passed through the fire and learning of public school adorned in the hood of autism. These are the words of hope and a future.

We Are Missing Out on Physical Healing

A vast majority of our church's prayers are for someone's physical healing. From winter sniffles that won't go away to stage 4 cancer, our Sunday morning prayer times overflow with heart felt requests for God to heal. Now many of these requests are not for people present at church, our church is small. Many times the folks needing the healing are not even present, but are being prayed for by friends. We celebrate all sorts of cures as from God through medicine or immune system, and God could have been involved in all of these. 

As I look at the Bible's accounts of healing in preparation for a sermon on James 5:13-20, the successful healing don't look like what we do.  Let me lay out what we do.

1) Someone in our group hears from a friend who is sick.
2) They may or may not offer to pray for that person's healing.
3) They come to church and we offer a time to publicly praise God or ask for prayer.
4) The someone in our group asks for prayer for the sick person, who may or may not be present.
5) We offer prayer for this situation for one or two weeks.

Here is the flow I see from the Bible.

1) Someone is sick.
2) They find out about God's representative, Jesus, the apostles, the elders and come to them for healing.
3) This representative prays for and/or sets up the faith conditions for healing.
     "Go wash in the pool of Siloam . . ."
     "Dunk 7 times in the Jordan river . . ."
     prayer and anointing with oil
4) God imparts healing in response to faith

Both Jesus and James bring up the idea of sin forgiveness along with healing. In Matthew 9 Jesus responds to the faith of the paralyzed man's friends, who tear apart a roof to get the man to Jesus, by forgiving his sins before healing him. In James 5 forgiveness of the ailing person is brought up along with their healing. In both cases the person to be healed is surrounded by close friends who know about their sins as well as their condition. A person's sin and guilt may be what is holding them back from physical healing.

1) Our flow is impersonal.
     We may know of the person who is mentioned. Someone has likely talked with this person recently, but our prayers for this person are very generic. "Strengthen them." "Give the doctors wisdom" "Heal if you wish, God" There is not the personal laying on of hands and anointing with oil. There are not those present who can tell us about this person's spiritual state or relationship with God.

2) Our flow is expert based, rather than faith based.
Folks want the pastor to pray for healing publicly. Why, if they have been praying for their friend? I suspect the down deep reason folks want the pastor to pray publicly is that they for some reason feel that Pastor or someone in the congregation has likely got a better line to God, is more tuned into God's healing track and is likely to bring God's healing.

3) Our flow doesn't require any response from the person who is receiving healing.
We pray, God heals, we rejoice. The person may or may not understand if or how God was involved. It is up to their friend who started it all to bring God into the healing. 

A more biblical flow in our day might look like this.
Person gets sick.
     1) If the person has a church home. 
          a) They approach the pastor and other spiritual folks about prayer for healing.
          b) They talk and pray through to find God's desire to heal and any sin that needs to be handled.
          c) The involved elders and pastor lay hands on the person and anoint with oil for healing.
     2) If the person does not have a church home.
          a) The friend and person approach their pastor and other spiritual folks about healing.
          b) The elders teach the sick person about Biblical healing in the Christian Era.
          c) The elders explore the sick person's desire or the friend's desire to trust Jesus for healing..
          d) Once faith is confirmed, the elders anoint the sick person and pray for healing.
God responds with his healing.

Two Gardens

As Jesus gripped a young olive tree for strength and prayed, he was rolling back a curse that started in another garden many years before. This first Garden had been planted and designed by the Lord for Adam and Eve to enjoy. Trees of perfect symmetry stretched to the sky. Bushes lush with berries lined the paths that marched straight from the center to the wide world. In the middle two fantastic trees reached closer to heaven than all the rest, the tree of life, transplanted from a heavenly tree, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Adam had been warned by God about the latter tree. No one was to eat of its fruit on pains of death. He wasn't sure what death was, but it sounded nasty. He, in turn, warned Eve, though his explanation of death was even weaker than the Lord's. The Lord, their Master, Creator and Friend came to them when they were resting in the evenings. His presence always brought celebration. He seemed to them like crackling lightning in a being shaped bottle, Yet his voice and manner was as gentle as a Father with newborns. He enquired about their activities and suggested new places to explore for the upcoming day. He seemed entranced by their doings and kept asking about children.

"Father, if there is any other way" Jesus begged and pleaded, "please, please let me do it."

Tired of exploring, Adam and Eve decided to stay close to home base. "Let's go down and get some fruit off the tree of life for lunch." Adam suggested. 

"Ok." Eve agreed. This would give her another chance to look over both those lovely trees. After another hour of working the soil and planting some seedlings God had provided, the couple drank from a stream then meandered down the grassy boulevard toward the tree of life. "Race you!" Eve shouted as she took off hair flowing in the breeze.

"Hey, no fair!" Adam kicked hard after her. Eve touched the tree of life just a half second before Adam. Winded the pair slid to the bottom of the tree laughing and breathing hard. After catching his breath, Adam rose and plucked two golden orbs from the nearest branch. "Here's the bigger one for the winner." He proclaimed as he handed Eve her meal. No peeling was necessary, and the two delighted their bodies as they ate the fruit of life.

Jesus wanted to scream as a vision of the cup of His father's piled and distilled anger floated before him. His senses were assaulted with the vile odors of sin and the sulfurous response of God's anger. He couldn't do it. He wouldn't swallow all that puss covered, writhing, boiling, steaming and chunky brew. His stomach turned over and over and fear crawled down all his nerves.

As the first couple finished their lunch, a beautiful animal lithely entered the grove. Green iridescent scales covered a curvy body and wrapped around two very intelligent eyes. The pair stood. "Father Adam and Mother Eve" the creature addressed them. "Now that you have enjoyed the main course of your meal, I invite you to try this fruit for your just dessert."

"What is a dessert?" Eve wondered in response.

"Oh, our Lord hasn't told you about dessert?" The snake wondered amazed. "It is the crown of the meal, the best part, the sweetest part."

"I need no dessert, creature. I am satisfied with what the Lord has provided."

"I am sure, Father Adam." The reptile bowed. "What about you, Mother Eve, would you care to learn about something our Lord neglected to tell you about?" During this exchange Adam and paced off after a deer or another creature. Eve and the tempter stood alone in the Garden.

"Snake, your offer of dessert is interesting, but we are not to eat from this tree you suggest. The Lord told us it is dangerous to us. We shouldn't even touch it."

"I can't believe it. Why would our Lord say something like that about this lovely tree, I wonder?" As he questioned the snake wrapped himself around the trunk and slithered up to the first branch seeming deep in thought and unaware that he just touched the forbidden tree. "Let me see, Mother Eve, first you don't know about dessert, the best part of the meal, because God hasn't told you. And you can't eat from the best tree of the garden, because he has forbidden you. Why would the Lord treat you so, I wonder?" As the snake wondered Eve studied the tree of good and evil. It seemed strong and straight and its fruit looked bigger and juicier than what she had just eaten. "Mother Eve could it be that God is jealous of you? I think he keeps you from the fruit of this tree so you will never know evil, something he knows. He doesn't want you to gain this knowledge for then you would be so much more like him. Instead of planting his seeds, you could give him things to do as well with this knowledge that he withholds from you, the knowledge of evil.

Jesus struggled to get a hold of himself, of his thoughts and feelings and will. There in the dark he made a decision, "Not my will, but yours be done." The ghastly images fell away and Jesus retreated to the comfort of his friends.

Eve plucked a fruit and studied it. It seemed little different than what she had eaten just minutes before. Yet as she held the fruit in defiance of the Lord's and Adam's order, new feelings stirred in her. She, Mother Eve, would chart a new and better course for her people. Generations would thank her for daring the ban and eating the forbidden and gaining knowledge of evil. She looked at Adam as simple and saw the snake as wise. She brought the fruit to her nose. It smelled sweet. Why would the Lord keep such sweetness from them? "If he has kept this from you, what other delights might he be keeping only for himself, Mother Eve?" The snake whispered from overhead. She would know evil. With a swift fierce bite it was done. sunny sweetness and full bodies sourness exploded on her taste buds. She almost gagged. "Chew my dear, chew." Her jaws worked and cleared the first bite of evil from her mouth. She wanted more.

Jesus' retreat was short lived. All those who had come with him were asleep. In almost panic she shook Peter awake. "What's the matter with you? You couldn't watch one lousy hour with me." Peter's face fell under the weight of sadness. "Pray Peter. I see you are willing, but your body is weak." Jesus stalked back to his own grove. Once again the cup appeared and was set in his hands. "I can hold it, if I must, but do I have to drink it? Do I have to take this vileness into my soul? Do I have to be crushed under Your judgment? Will you even be there, my Father?" Once again fear and despair sped through his body like chains on a prisoner. As Jesus continued to argue and plead his sweat mingled with the blood of his capillaries bursting under the strain.

Eve did NOT like the way Adam was looking at her. No sooner had he finished his dessert than he started chasing her and not in fun. No he was desperate to possess her and she wanted none of it. Finally she got far enough ahead of him to put some large leaves over the parts of her body that he wanted the most. That slowed him down. Adam decided to do the same. They spent the rest of the day in uncomfortable silence, eating from the tree and sleeping. No more seeds got planted. 

They woke with a start. The trumpet from the sky was announcing the Lord's arrival. "Quick, Eve, we have to hide!" They scrambled away and climbed into a tight grove of olive trees. Soon they heard God's voice calling for them, searching. 

"Good" Eve thought, "maybe there are some facts God doesn't know." Yet within minutes God stood before them and their world fell apart. Adam turned on Eve, Eve blamed the snake. God explained evil and death in terms they could understand as He handed out curses and drove them from His presence. The joyous Garden of Eden disappeared, blocked by two ominous angels. Adam and Eve now knew evil.

Jesus' prayers received no answers. There was no other answer to the cup, than to drink it. He walked away a second time and found his crew still asleep. He returned once more to see if the Father had found any other way. No. Drenched in sweat and shaking from the emotional effort Jesus stood and declared, "Not my will, but Yours Father God be done." In that declaration of obedient love Jesus began to roll back the curses initiated with Adam and Eve.

Two Ticks Past Midlife

Here I sit two ticks past midlife. In front of me my children are launching into adulthood like planes off a busy carrier deck. Kate is pursuing a degree in intercultural studies. The drive to learn propels her into the sky, bye bye.

Ahead I see my mother, who barked at me for the first time in many years. I was straightening her blanket in the nursing home when Alzheimer's shouted, "NO!"  in that razory Mom tone that means, "Stop now or wooden spoon."

I have grown restless here in Odessa. Too many funerals and not enough life. Grief and fear have clamped us to the deck. My courage has not been enough to point us to God and His provision against fear and for a future. So we look to launch where God has for us next.

My Theology Of Sunday Morning Worship

My Theology Of Sunday Morning Worship

In recent years churches have downsized the number of meetings held throughout the week. Sunday morning worship hour has taken up the slack. As the body of Christ the church needs to meet regularly for deep connection, for fellowship. As the worshipers of the living God, the church needs to lay down praise, love, and adoration to God through Jesus. As children of God, We need to pray for other family members. As ambassadors to the King of Kings we need to proclaim the good news of the Kingdom is open to anyone who'll turn away from rebellion and come back to the king. The Sunday morning worship hour picked up all these needs and became the prime real estate for Christians.

This is more than one hour can hope to accomplish. Primarily, the Sunday morning gathering is meant for worship of God. A key part of that worship is the reviewing of Jesus’ teaching and evaluating our lives against his truth. Another key part of that worship is the singing of psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. We are also encouraged to take part in the sacrament of communion often and regularly. Finally, there is a history of taking up collections for the needs of the body of Christ on the first day of the week as well.

My Thoughts on Worship

Worship allows different members of the body of Christ to express their gifts to the Lord. Those who are gifted with song are free to lead. Those who are gifted with art and color are free to express themselves. Those who are gifted with poetry and drama are encouraged to take part. Those gifted with teaching and exhorting are able to be led by the Spirit. God is so wonderful and worthy of praise that there is room for great creativity in lifting him up.

Songs have always been a key part of worship. Emotional expression and memory connect in music in unique ways. I have memories that music from decades ago unlocks. If I don’t get to sing those songs, I miss that part of worship. Hopefully, new men and women are joining the Kingdom. These folks may connect with more modern music styles. These new brothers and sisters need worship music in their preferred style, so they can build music memories as well.

Drama, like any other human effort at worship, can become distracting. However, actors motivated by their love of God and desire to draw folks attention to the King of Kings can serve as the fingers of the Holy Spirit to tickle the mind and/or emotions toward him.

That leaves other body needs unmet on Sunday morning. The interpersonal needs of intercession, discipleship and fellowship have to be met primarily in other places and through other means than Sunday morning worship. A strong Sunday morning education time can aid discipleship and fellowship. A well thought out emphasis on prayer among the body is vital. Informal mentoring gives space for all sorts of accountability, prayer and encouragement. God is pleased when these activities strengthen His Kingdom.

Leadership Thoughts

Theology of leadership

In seminary the guiding vision of leadership that we were taught was summed up in the phrase "servant leadership." Over the last 20 some years I have enjoyed significant time and experience to figure out what that means.

The idea of servant leadership comes from Jesus’ own teaching. He proclaims himself a servant leader and commands that his followers becomes the same sort of leaders, Not lording it over their followers serving their followers in love.

Paul continues this thinking in Ephesians 4 where he describes pastors/Teachers as gifts that Jesus has left behind as he ascended into heaven. He left Pastor/teachers aid the body of Christ in healthy growth through service to each other into the world. Peter also advises fellow elders to be shepherds of God's flock as that have been left under their care, Serving as overseers not because they must but because they're willing is God wants them to be not from dishonest gain, but because they are eager to serve.

Looking at the life of Jesus, he was able to serve in such away that is strengthened his ability to lead and teach. He taught with greater authority. He didn't quote other rabbis as was the custom, but instead taught directly from the Old Testament. He exercised spiritual authority over demons and commanded them out of people’s lives with his words. He demonstrated Great authority over disease and even death. Yet he never asked or commanded that his own needs be met by those following him. He knelt and washed the feet of his disciples. He reached out to the woman caught in adultery and forgave her.

In fact, a look at the book of Acts shows the early church at its best as everybody served everyone else in love. In the beginning chapters please see that there is no need the young fellowship, because those that had means sold the extra and gave to those that were in trouble.

Pet peeve alert: this is why I have trouble with Pastor appreciation month. I feel that a pastor and his or her family become part of the church family and they should be welcomed and cared for as part of the church family, Even though most of the time they are from outside the community. Appreciation month is not needed when the church family cares for the pastor and the pastor cares for the church family all year long. Unfortunately, the church and pastors lost this vision and took a business model for the relationship between a pastor and the church. The pastor became the CEO who was supposed to raise the business of the church to greater heights. The church then became the factory or the sales floor to get Christianity into the world. This is not the model of the New Testament. For in the New Testament we see pastors are called and given to the church as fellow brothers and or sisters who have the gift of teaching and are given the gift of time to study, pray and seek God's will for the local body of believers.

How I  lead

My first priority coming into a church is to find out where God is already at work. Where is God already blessing in and through a church, and how can I join what God is already doing? I have found it takes a year to see all that a church is doing and how God is already using the leadership team. This may be a formal leadership team, Such as a church board, Or it may be an informal team Sunday school teachers, Volunteers, Board members and the others.

I have found that God usually orchestrates a change of leadership, because Lord wishes to add to or enhance what a church family is already doing and/or being for him. So once I get an idea where the Lord is working, I start to ask, “Where would God like me to work? What do I bring to the table that will enhance the direction God is already leading?"

One area in which the Lord is has used me in the past is to start or enhance a drama ministry. Another area in which I have experience and gifts is working with teens and/or children. I have also been used to form healthy small groups. After the first year, I will likely come to board meetings with ideas. People are more important than ideas, so I don't push but I do coax.

Two books that I have found helpful in building leadership team are The Five Dysfunctions Of A Team and God Dreams. I realize that even Jesus the son of God, Formed a team to aid in his ministry. That team was than commanded to go on make their own teams, Disciples. I find that to be the pattern of healthy leadership, so I will be looking to work with existing leaders to build healthy teams. Leaders need to be investing in the lives of  young Christians to bring them along into the family. Young Christians need all the encouragement and caring advice that they can soak in. 

Again, church development is not found primarily in board meetings, but in coffee shop meetings. Board meetings can weave the dream, small group meetings are the muscles of Christ’s body acting in culture to bring the kingdom to bear.

My Thoughts on Marriage

My Thoughts on Marriage

The theology of marriage is ancient. In Genesis 1:26-28 God states his purpose for humans, to put His image on the earth. To do so, he made a human male and a human female. Both are required to capture the essence of God. In Genesis 2 we see that Eve is made from the same stuff as Adam, a rib, a piece of His innards. We also see in Genesis 2 that a new household is formed when a man leaves his parents and joins in sexual union with his wife. The image of God, then is found in the close union of one man and one woman, made of the same stuff, yet different. The sex act was designed not primarily for recreation or even procreation, but for incarnation of the image of God on earth.

Now some pastors have taken this theology and accounts of Isaac’s marriage to Rebekah, which takes place without ceremony to mean that if a couple engages in sex, they are married in God’s sight. These pastors feel that the church should declare these couples married. 

I find this problematic. First, God presents Eve to Adam. The word used for brought is also used in other places to describe marriage. God performed the first marriage and that’s about as solemn as can be. Abraham had prayed over and consulted God regarding Isaac’s bride. Abraham sent his most respected servant with engagement gifts and God pointed Rebekah out to  this servant through miraculous timing. I don’t believe a one night fling is equivalent to the bringing together of Isaac and Rebekah.

So, ideally, marriage is the bringing together of two different people, male and female, under God’s direction to form a new family and display the image of God to the world through this couple.

My Methods Of Marriage Counseling And Ceremony

Now, the world is far from ideal. I recognize a person’s birth gender exclusively. I believe the Bible clearly teaches that marriage is only for one man and one woman for life. I do recognize the validity of divorcing for marital infidelity. I do recognize divorcing for desertion over one spouse’s faith in Christ when the non believing spouse wants out. I do recognize that God can forgive divorce and restore a person to a place where they are ready to marry again.

I generally counsel in 3 sessions. Meeting 1 I seek to get to know them and see how well they know each other. I push on key issues of spiritual agreement, money, child raising, decision making and family backgrounds. 

In session 2 we go through the parts of the ceremony, including the vows. This gives me a chance to talk about the union being lifetime. By the end of this session, we have the ceremony mapped out. We also chat about marital sex. If one or both partners have been divorced. This is where I bring up the ghosts of past relationships. These ghosts can be handled with God's grace. 

Session 3 wraps up any loose ends. We make sure of all the details and that a rehearsal has been confirmed with all of the participants. Florist, photographer and other pros are taken into account.

My Son

My son, Edward Ian is tall, good looking and gentle hearted. Like most Ross men of our branch he lives with intensity. He has been given a muscular conception  of right and wrong.  In fact, since Ian first hit school  he seemed  to need to be the classrooms police officer. By 4th grade I pulled officer Ian from school to learn at home.

During that year my wife and I asked our family physician to evaluate him. She  found him to be extremely intelligent and to converse in almost adult fashion.  She noted that he was different in the same way that a bill gates might've been different back in the day.

Not  long after that, we moved to my current position as pastor of a small church in upstate New York. Such a huge move was a challenge for all of us, and especially Ian. After some frustrating incidents at school the school guidance counselor recommended that we have in evaluated by a psychiatrist. We did. Two detailed sessions later  my son was described as on the autism spectrum with mild high functioning Aspergers Syndrome.

So many quirks to my son came in to focus. His aversion to all but classical music combined with his hyper sensitivity to smells all stem from Aspergers.  His intense one track of sessions with various hobbies from Thomas the Tank Engine to Star Wars to Legos to Pokémon where he would dive in so deep that maybe only two or three people in the world knew more about the subjects than he does.  It helped us understand that Ian thrives in environment that is very static, clearly spelled out, and directive as far as social interactions go.

You would think a well disciplined school would be the perfect place for Ian to thrive and gain hours. Yet you and I know schools are full of people.  Many of the people in schools were young, immature. Through the years Ian is slowly learning social skills, that's one of the drawbacks that Aspergers folks face. Yet Ian continues.