Marriage?

Recently I read an op-ed piece on CNN.com titled "Marriage Apocalypse."Here is the link if you wish to experience it for yourself. http://www.cnn.com/2015/04/07/opinions/costello-marriage-millennials/index.html One of the millennials felt that if she had $20,000, she would rather go to Europe than invest it in a wedding. Well, duh. A $20K Europe trip would be over the top. This got me to thinking. Why  the marriage ceremony? In the comments to this article, folks make the point that the legal benefits of marriage can be obtained through other means (Power of Attorney, living wills, etc . . .).  Living together allows for cleaner legal separations if the relationship sours. Why marriage?

As a Christian, I feel the Bible offers us insight into relationships such as marriage. From Genesis 1 and 2, marriage seems to be invested with deeper meaning. In Genesis 1:26-28 God plans to make humans in His likeness. To do this He needs to make two, a male and a female. When a male and female come together  this somehow represents or displays a God likeness to the rest of the world. Wow!

In Genesis 2, God has created Adam and encouraged him to name all the animals alive at that time. Through this process, Adam realizes that all the other animals have their mates, but He lives alone. God puts him to sleep and does surgery to form the woman. She is given to Adam by God and the two are to become one flesh. This is as deep unity of body, emotions and outlook.

So why is marriage such a mess today? Certainly folks screaming at each other, abusing each other and ignoring one another doesn't show anything about God. A happy couple living together would display God more convincingly. Marriage seems to put too much pressure on the whole thing and cause failures.  And then the pain of divorce and the stigma of failure and the hurt and battle over children. Why can't we just move along from all that?

I agree that a married couple who go after each other nearly constantly is destructive on many levels. I agree that an unmarried living together couple that cares deeply for each other displays God's attributes more convincingly. A piece of paper and expensive ceremony can't make a man and a woman love each other. In fact, Jesus states that in the next existence marriage won't even be on the table. (Mark 12:25) So why get all hung up on marriage?

Because a healthy marriage shows us the power of commitment. When a man and a woman stand before God and witnesses and declare their commitment to each other through sickness and health, richer and poorer till death us do part, they are stating how Jesus is committed to His followers. Marriage is a huge decision, a lifetime one. How many lifetime decisions do you and I make? To marry and to have children, that's about it. Marriage should have the support of both families involved. Marriage should only be entered in purity, so that the union is about more than "good sex." Marriage partners should know the other well. Even then surprises will come from the dear other.

My Dad made such a commitment 52 years ago. For the last 10, my mother has had her brain eaten away by Alzheimer's disease. Dad gets frustrated with her repeating questions. Dad misses the woman he married. Dad aches because she is now so careless, when she previously cared so much. He could just stick her in a home and walk away. Why watch this day after day? Because she is his wife for life. That commitment is golden. Our whole extended family has taken it in. Frankly, his love for my mom is a treasure whose worth is most fully revealed in this last decade.