Science has it Backwards

A fellow associate and myself have taken those few minutes of free time at work to rethink the theory of evolution. I believe we make a strong case for monkeys evolving FROM humans. Let me lay it out for you.

1. We have no tails. We carry what is called the tail bone, but no actual tail. Tails would be immensely useful! Balance, grabbing things, “Gibbs slapping” others in the back of the head. Most monkeys have them. Us nope. Tails evolved from the tailbone. 
2. Real birthday suits. We have to make clothes and buy clothes and give clothes to the Salvation Army. Monkeys are born with theirs. They change size as the primates grow. They shed for heat and thicken for cold, a definite evolutionary advancement over our pathetic efforts to cover ourselves. Fur evolved from clothes.
3. Jungle lost cities. These ancient ruins found deep and far from current civilization are evidence that ancient monkeys have left behind as they have evolved past the need for them. With coats and tails and prehensile toes as well as fingers they foot waved “goodbye” and made their life beyond the grind that you and I now toil in. Deserted cities.
4. So called lack of language. I can hear it now, “But we can talk and make cool stuff, what about that?”  I would like you to think (irony) on this. Monkeys have evolved past spoken and written words. As all good Star Trek fans know advanced races speak telepathically. They only reduce themselves to speech for the backwards humans. Same here. Its all in their head.
5. Cavendish demise. Both National Geographic and Science are reporting a new strain of virus that renders Cavendish bananas sterile. My associate and I are convinced this is the work of the monkeys. They have determined this popular banana was the key to their evolution. Prolonged daily exposure to the fruit brought on the tail and the fur and other changes of which we are in the dark about. They have been experimenting for decades to isolate a way to “take out” the Cavendish and have finally succeeded. We will continue to hit our heads against the evolutionary ceiling of humans, while they evolve in peace.

Evolution turned on its head, and remember “It’s Steaming” in a pile right on this page.

Fill the Earth

I have been studying Genesis and writing sermons to keep the mind strong. In my studies I have noticed that God was pretty serious about humankind spreading out across His creation. As I was working at Walmart one day I began to see why, I think.

While working out in the boonies of the Endless Mountians in Pennsylvania, I see a cross section of Bradford County's population. Great diversity lives all around me. I have seen ladies wrapped in Indian Sari's beright colored and regal. I have heard several different languages and taken in a variety of skin colors.

I believe God was so insistent on humans filling the earth because the Lord built into each of us the ability to adapt to our surroundings AND pass these adaptations on to our offspring. It reminds me of the song I learned in United Methodist Sunday School. "Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world."