Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Christmas Blanket

"I can't wait until I'm 13. When I have my bar mitzvah, I can finally get Seth to leave me alone. Ever since he went through his a couple of years ago, he won't leave me alone. First, he bosses me around. 'Caleb, get this. Caleb do that.' Abba is no help. He just nods at me to do whatever he says. 

Second, he thinks he is so much better than me. He gets to take care of the cows and learn about all Abba's tools. He and Seth even started talking about girls the other day. While all this is happening, I'm stuck doing Seth's bidding or working with Momma. Seth calls me 'the daughter she always wanted.' If I hear him say that one more time, I'm going to punch him." 

Seth sprinted into the village and straight to the house. "Woman, several large groups are headed toward us from the north. He wants you two to get all our beds ready for guests."

"How long before travelers might arrive?" Caleb asked. 

"By tonight, kid." 

"Seth, we will need that yearling steer butchered. Caleb, walk through each room and sleeping space. Straighten them up and make sure they are have everything needed. I will head to the root cellar. Meet me there, Caleb." 

"Yes, meet Momma at the root cellar daughter Caleb. I'll take care of the meat, woman." 

Caleb bundled fresh straw on his back. He filled all the downstairs palates with fresh straw, then carried all the blankets out back to be beaten clean. He wrapped and bundled more straw and climbed to the roof. Under the canopy that covered most of the roof, Caleb filled the rest of the pallets there and dropped the blankets into the back yard with the rest. Every two pallets sat with a small clay water jar in between and a wooden box for the possessions of a visitor. 

After all the pallets lay stuffed with fresh straw, Caleb hustled out back to the cellar. “Don’t let Seth bother you, son. Remember God hates the proud, but upholds the humble. Now, lets see what we have in here to feed some folks.” Caleb and his mother, Rebekah, ducked into a cave. As Rebekah lit the torch mounted in the wall, Caleb gingerly made his way toward the back. Cool dampness settled on him as the light flickered out ahead. There in the back waited shelves holding clay jars of various heights and shapes. Each was labeled with the name of its contents etched into the jar when the material stood soft. Dried figs, raisins, dates, wine of various ages, barley flour and wheat flour waited with a few blocks of cheese wrapped in cloth along with bags of onions still in the skins. Dried meat and jerky were stored in wooden barrels.

Rebekah and Caleb took hold of one of the barrels, lifted and carried it from the back of the cave to the front. Rest. Lift again, carry, rest. After hours of carrying mother and son were soaked with sweat and ached.

"So are you girls all tired?!" Seth whined. Abba laid a stained hand on his shoulder. "Well, WE have two, two steers ready for any guests who come. Now where is our supper?" Abba directed Seth outside to wash up, saving Rebekah from two tired boys trying to kill each other. 

"Mom, just once I wish you'd let me beat some sense into Seth." Caleb demanded. 
"It never does work that way, Caleb." Rebekah sighed. "We both know we did a good day's work. Now let's finish with a good meal." Soon Rebekah invited the three men to the table with just the smell of her stew. 

"Mother nobody cooks up a stew like you." Seth cheered. "Jacob never would have taken Esau's birthright, if he had to compete with your cooking." Everyone laughed. Talk turned to all the travelers. Abba, Samuel, had heard the Emperor was counting heads for a new tax. Seth disagreed. He thought  folks were coming to Jerusalem to see Herod's new building. As the two men "discussed" their ideas, Rebekah and Caleb cleared the table.

"Caleb, why don't you go for a swim. I can handle anything else that needs doing tonight." Mother offered. A swim! Caleb took off at a run. At the pond, he stripped off his cloak, and robe, setting them on top of the bushes. He wadded into the water, then stretched out and swam. The cool liquid was a gift from God. Soon three or four other boys joined him for splashing and wrestling and swim races. 

It was almost dark when he climbed out of the water to find his clothes. They were gone! "Oh Seth" Caleb growled. "When I get a hold of you . . ." He ran home in his soaked tunic that clung to his thighs. A couple neighbor ladies gasped at the indecency as he sprinted by. Caleb charged into the house roaring for Seth. 

Seth stuck his head down the ladder to the roof. "What's the matter? Did little Caleb lose his robe?" With a flick Caleb's robe and cloak fluttered down toward the floor. "Oh, look what I found lying in the bushes." Caleb dashed to catch them. Slam! The lid to the roof set shut. 

“I’ll get you, Seth!” There was no way Caleb was going up on the roof tonight. Caleb dried off, then stomped to one of the downstairs pallets for the night. He flopped down mumbling to himself. The mumbling turned to tears. “Why is Seth so mean?” 

The next day felt like a festival. All morning groups, caravans, of people rushed through town toward Jerusalem. Rebekah and Caleb set up a stand by the road with food to sell to those travelers running low.  Camels loaded with saddlebags and boxes paid them no mind. Their minders dressed in silks and gazing straight toward the future. Other groups were on foot. 

As the day edged toward high noon, kids were sent out of the procession to look over Caleb’s wares. Young men and women about Seth’s age kindly bought dried fruit and meat, politely thanking him as they carried off their treasures. “Why can’t Seth treat me like this?”

“Caleb, go to the well and bring back a water jar full. We may be able to sell some drinks.” Within 20 minutes Caleb wobbled back, balancing 30 gallons of water on his head. By dark, mother and son had just about sold out of all the food and water they had set out for the day. In fact over the next few days the parade of people continued. Camels loaded with corpulent families in bright silks drifted by. Families on foot carried their tents on their backs and their food on their donkeys. Smartly dressed men on horses led families on mules with their own tents and supplies. They all disappeared into the houses and inns of Jerusalem.

“Momma.”

“Yes Caleb?”
“The cellar is starting to look kinda empty. Shouldn’t we save some of our supplies in case travelers actually stay with us?” Rebekah smiled. 

“Come with me.” Rebekah took Caleb around the root cellar. In the ridge behind stood another weathered wooden door. Rebekah pulled it open. Another cave, almost twice the size of first waited with food. “Caleb, the front cellar is filled with the older supplies. We sell that first. This cave holds more recent food. We will have plenty for everyone.” 

That evening the first of the caravans came out of Jerusalem sniffing out a place to stay. The next day the tide of caravans into the city met the backwash coming out. The human whirlpool swirled around Rebekah and Caleb. 

The downstairs pallets filled up first. An etched and wrinkled grandfather and his clan liked the looks of the back corner of the great room. Seth grudgingly led their pack animal away to the barn to feed and water them, while Caleb helped carry in their sacks of traveling gear. “I’m so glad we don’t have to set up the tent tonight.” One of the younger girls sighed. “It will be so good to sleep on a real pallet.” She smiled at Caleb.

Later in the day a multifamily group found the house. They filled out the rest of the downstairs. Their talk sounded funny like they came from down near Egypt. 

“Caleb, get Seth and pull out the great table for the evening meal.” Rebekah asked. Caleb took off at a run to find his brother. He ran up on Abba and Seth outside town scattering seed for spring wheat. 

“Seth, Mom needs us to get out the great table for tonight. The house is full!” Seth glanced over his shoulder with disgust, then went back to scattering from his burlap bag. “Abba, make Seth help me.” Caleb pleaded.

“This will be his field someday, Caleb. He needs to learn how to make it work for him. I will help you with the table this time.” Seth grinned as he worked away. Samuel and Caleb left him and walked back toward the barn. The barn was a large shed built up against a cave in another hillside halfway between the fields and the house. “So tell me about our guests.” Samuel asked his son.

“Well, first we have a family from north of here I would guess. There are six of them, grandparents, son and wife and two granddaughters. They seem nice and are glad they don’t have to sleep in a tent tonight.”

“Wait until they taste some of your mom’s cooking. They will be very glad then!” Abba replied.

Caleb continued to describe the guests as the two entered the barn. Off to the left inside the barn three items stood on edge wrapped in burlap. Samuel took up two of the sacks, while Caleb hefted the last. Still chatting the pair walked toward the house. The shadows had taken over the lawn and a couple early stars were bravely shooing the sun down. Seth fell into step behind them. Within minutes the three young men had added the three sections to the normal low table. The new table stretched across the middle of the great room from front to back. 

“Help me put out the first course.” Rebekah asked them. Seth gave Caleb a shove in the back. 
“Us men need to clean up.” Seth declared as he left the room. The girl who had smiled at Caleb earlier hurried up to his side. “Here, let me help.” She offered as she took a steaming wooden bowl of food from him. “My name is Miriam.” She kept her eyes low as she walked toward the table.

The aroma invited everyone to eat. Most pulled their pallets to the table, so they would have a cushion to lie on during the meal. The menu was simple. Fresh bread, stew, dried fruit and cold water. Samuel returned thanks and everyone began to eat and talk. The city streets were so full you could hardly walk. People from all over Palestine had been brought back to the area for Caesar’s census. Folks had been stopped at several points and asked to produce some proof of identity.

After the meal, mother brought out wine for the men, while father lit a bonfire for folks to sit around in the backyard. 

“Caleb and Seth, make sure each pallet has a blanket for the night. We don’t want people to fell that they have to sleep in their cloaks.” Seth pretended he didn’t hear and kept walking toward the fire. Rebekah sighed and started after him. 

“Mom, don’t bother.” Caleb called. “I can get them.”

“I’ll help too, if you need me.” Miriam offered. The pair climbed to the roof and passed homemade blankets down the ladder and around the room to each of the pallets. Rebekah had made most of them and they lapped over the pallets perfectly. The last two weren’t as straight. 

“These two are different.” Miriam remarked. 

“Well, I made those. I’m not as good as mom is yet.” Caleb explained. 

“I know. I made my first blanket last fall. It has a hole in the middle.” Miriam giggled. Caleb laughed along. It felt good after all the hard work of the last few weeks. The two strolled to the fire talking and laughing. As the fire died down and the wine ran low, folks wandered back toward the house and bed. At last just Seth, Samuel, Caleb and Miriam huddled around the coals.

“When we came back this way today, we were stopped by a couple soldiers right at the other end of town.” Miriam reported. “They were just getting set up to check everyone tomorrow. The bigger one has a nasty scar over one eye, his right I think.” A braying donkey interrupted her. 

“Here comes some more people.” Caleb observed. Little oil lamps flickered against the dark revealing two donkeys, one loaded with supplies and the other carrying a woman. Around the animals stumbled a sick older lady, her frail husband and a couple little grandkids barely old enough to walk. A strong young man steadied the donkey with his wife and kept an arm under the old lady.

“Caleb, get your mother.” Abba stated. Caleb and Miriam hurried off toward the house. “Seth, lets you and I help them with their animals.” With a sigh Seth fell in step with his Dad. They helped the young lady off the donkey while the young man half carried the old lady into the house. Caleb met them and led the old couple to the last two pallets, which they had butted together in the middle of the room where the supper table had stood. The woman on the donkey steered the grandkids into the house, while Seth and Abba steered the donkeys toward the barn for the night. The grandkids huddled next to their grandparents. Miriam and Rebekah offered them some food, but they were already asleep. Rebekah took the two large blankets off the family pallets upstairs and covered the foursome. Within minutes they stopped shivering and settled into deep sleep.

“Oh what are we going to do with you.” Rebekah whispered as she noticed the young woman’s condition. “We can’t have you sleeping out in the air.” Just then Seth came in.

“We have the animals settled, woman. I’m going to bed.”

“You will need to sleep in your cloak tonight, Seth.” 

“Great.” Seth mumbled as he started up the ladder. 

“Just a minute, Seth.” Rebekah stated in thought. “Let’s make a place in the barn for this young lady. It will be out of the dampness at least.”

“That’s a good idea, woman.” He answered his foot still on the ladder. “Caleb, that sounds like your kind of work.” He continued to climb.

“Why you!” Caleb snarled. The young woman groaned. 

“Caleb, please go with the young man and set something up. Miriam and I will help Mary out in a few minutes.” Caleb left for the barn with the young man following. 

“Joe, my name is Joe.”

“My name is Caleb. We are going to set you up in the barn and get  you off the ground for the night.”

“Thanks.” The three men stacked straw into two decent pallets for the couple. Caleb brought out the leftovers from the evening meal. Not long after the young woman joined her husband in the barn. 

“Now, Mary, if you need help tonight send your husband in and get us up. I will have Caleb sleep right by the door over there, so you can find him.”

“We will be fine, Ma’am. We appreciate what you have done.” With that everyone went off to bed.

Caleb was awakened in the pitch black and Joe shook him. “Caleb, its time, go get your mother.”

“What?” He mumbled trying to wake up.

“The baby is coming.”

“Oh, yeah. I’ll get her.” Caleb banged through the darkened room until he found the ladder. He burst onto the roof. “Mom, mom come quick, the baby!” Rebekah was already pulling her robe on.  She lit a small oil lamp and the two hustled out to the couple in the barn. Caleb kept Joseph company outside. A few minutes later, Abba walked up to the two. “First time father?” He asked Joseph.

“Yes. I’m not sure I can handle all this.” He confided while the sounds of delivery broke out of the stable.

“No one is.” Samuel answered. “Take each day as it comes and let the Lord look after tomorrow. Best advice my father ever gave me. It took me a few years to figure out what he meant. So, you got a name picked out?”

“Jesus. We’ll name him Jesus.” While the older men talked, Caleb crept back to the barn. His curiosity was getting the best of him. Besides things had quieted down in there. As he peeked between the boards, he watched his mom smack the baby on the behind. As he cried in response, the baby’s eyes lit with the flame of life.

“Sounds like little Jesus has quite a voice.” Samuel laughed as Joe rushed into the stable to meet his son.

“Why did Mom spank the baby, Abba?”

“That cry is his first breath, son. A baby needs air, food and warmth we he first comes into our world, air, food and warmth.”

“Then Jesus will need a blanket.”

“Oh I’m sure Joe has all that taken care of.” answered Abba. Caleb wasn’t so sure. He walked back to the house trying to take in all that he had seen and heard. Miriam met him at the door.

“Did I hear a baby cry?” She asked.

“Yes, a little boy has been born in the barn. His name is Jesus.” Caleb replied as he wandered past. Caleb made his way to his pallet. Beside it sat his box. He opened it. Inside lay the first blanket he ever made. He and his mom worked on it together. They were the only two who had seen it. He had woven a little lamb’s face on the center of it. The cloth was too small, so he was saving it for his first child. He grabbed it out before he could change his mind and surged down the ladder.

On a sprint he crossed the yard to the barn and burst inside. Little Jesus was all wrapped in strips of cloth and he was fussing against them. Caleb stepped up to the manger bed and wrapped his blanket gently under Jesus’ chin. The baby settled and closed his eyes. His mother picked him up in the blanket and snuggled him close.

“Well that fits him perfect, thank you. We will give it back tomorrow.”


“No, you keep it. It’s my gift.”

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Santa's Present

I have pretended to be Santa Claus for almost 15 years. The kids love me, because I’m short like them and I have learned how to make my eyes twinkle as they walk up to me. As you might imagine, kids ask for all sorts of stuff, from the latest and greatest toys to pets to a new husband for mommy. I wear the black boots, red pants and red coat with the white fur fringe. I was born with red hair and the fair skin that comes with it. A thumb twist of red makeup on each cheek finishes the costume. I skip the hat.

Today, I was playing the part at a mall in upstate New York, maybe 30 miles from home. I have gained enough reputation that I can work anywhere from Buffalo to Syracuse to Jamestown or even Binghamton. Today  was a 6 hour gig from 2pm - 9pm with two 15 minute “Hot Cocoa” breaks and a 1 hour “Feeding his reindeer” break. 

The day had been going well. I endured only about half a dozen criers and was seating anywhere from 30 to 60 kids an hour. My female elves knew what they were doing and kept the flow of parents moving with smiles and easy encouragement. I always brought my own photographer and best friend, Pete. He could frame up a shot faster than anyone and seemed to be able to snap off smile after smile with few frowns. He was also a master photoshopper, who could add smiles where needed in a few seconds.

I ambled back to the set after my second “Hot Cocoa Break” to find just one family waiting. The father stood a bit taller than me, no surprise, and was squared away. Mom looked awful young. She wore a knee length dress with a couple of stains well faded from lots of cleaning. Their son stood confident with shiny black hair, brown black eyes, a green short sleeve shirt, brown corduroy pants and scuffed white sneakers. 

The elves and Pete had not made it back, yet. I sat and launched into my shtick with a booming “HO, HO, Ho and who have we here?” The kid was maybe three years old, yet he marched right up to sit on my lap. “What’s your name, young man?” I asked cheerfully.

“I know your real name, Mister.” Without letting concern reach my eyes, I studied the boy. Nope, don’t recognize him. 

“Well, aren’t you smart.” I threw back.

“I also know what you need.” He stared straight at me.

I tossed out a Santa chuckle. “Now just a minute young man, I’m hear to listen to you.” I glanced over at the parents. They watched their son with pride. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. Where was Pete?

“You need forgiveness for Sarah Jane.” This interview just moved beyond creepy.

“OK, kid, you’re done.” I shooed him off my lap. “Mom, Dad come get your kid.” I barked. As they came to retrieve him, I tried to place them. Nothing. Never seen them in my life that I can remember.

Mom catches my eye. “Did Jay upset you?” She asks. What he said went way beyond ‘upset,’ but I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction. 

“No, ma’am. He just doesn’t seem to want anything of Santa today.” They walked off and left me thinking of Sarah Jane. I hadn’t thought about her in years. Couldn’t think about her actually. Forgiveness. How could this kid know? 

I had been Santa so long that I winged through the last couple of hours on autopilot while memory dragged me back to 20 years before. Lucy and I met at drama school. She carried that magic that the movie industry demands. When Lucy walked into a class the talking ran out. When she read a part, you couldn’t help but believe. Out of all the men going for her, she liked me.

We spent hours talking over coffee, running lines together, rewriting each other’s scripts and sharing our lives. About a month into our friendship and it happened. We were running lines for a romantic sketch. At the end of an intense scene we were to kiss. It wasn’t pretend from either of us. As the script pages fell on the floor, we fell into each other’s embrace and didn’t stop until deep into the night. 

The joy of being with Lucy shot us both to the head of the class. We were getting the best parts and killing. By spring, Broadway producers and directors were sitting in the seats for some of my best work. With Lucy, I might head to Hollywood. Then Lucy was getting sick every morning. Her face puffed around the eyes. She was pregnant. Wow, did her eyes flair with joy. Me, I wasn’t near so excited. What would this mean for our acting days?

At first, not much. As the baby grew, Lucy shared more and more energy with the baby. She didn’t have it for the lines. My own worry stretched its fingers throughout my performances. Finally, one of the instructors took me aside. ‘Listen, you need to do something. You two are blowing a great future for a fetus. Lucy is sick half the time. She is tired and you are way out of sync. You need to go to a clinic or something. I have a couple Hollywood directors flying in next week. Get this solved.’

I listened. His speech sounded like he pulled from my thoughts. I sat Lucy down that afternoon. “Lucy, Dr. Lowellyn has a couple of friends coming from Hollywood next week. One of them worked on Bridges of Madison County.”

“Wow, that’s great. Do we want to know the baby’s gender ahead of time, do you think?”

“Lucy, about the baby. We haven’t been ourselves, our best, since the baby came along.  I’m not the only one who thinks so, honey. Dr. Lowellyn is worried about our future.”

Lucy hung her head. “I’ve been thinking about our careers too. Maybe I will need to take a break for a few years. We can support you.”

“Dear, the baby is in our way. We are young with lots of time for babies. We need to focus on making a life for ourselves first.”

“What are you saying?”

“We need to go to the clinic off campus and get it taken care of.”

“You mean I need to abort our baby.”

“I mean you need to support our future.” We talked long into that night and I wore her down. “I will go with you tomorrow, Lucy. We will see this through together.”

It was a horrible mistake. I thought an abortion was like getting a tooth surgically removed or a tummy tucked. She would go to sleep, have careful surgery and wake up feeling fine. As I helped Lucy out of the office she mumbled, “They called her Sarah Jane. Her name was Sarah Jane.” All the female babies were Sarah Jane, named for their founder or main donor or something like that. 

Lucy was wrecked. Her body didn’t unclench for the better part of two days. She fell from divided energy to none. Our relationship was done. She left me and the school two weeks later. I’m a master Santa impersonator, so you can see where my career ended up. 

I finished my performance, thanked the mall people and the elves, then helped Pete take things down. I was still a good enough actor to fool him. Within five minutes he was pacing off to his car with his arms loaded with equipment without a thought for me. Frankly I was grateful to be alone.

“Jimmy? James Carrigan! Over here!” And there she was. Would this night never end? There was Lucy. She stood with a gentleman who could only be her husband. They wore rings. On her left stood a teenage young man who looked like Dad and on her right stood a young lady who looked like the Lucy I remembered. Once she caught my eye, Lucy started into a sprint. With a girly leap she landed in my startled arms hugging me. “I have been thinking about you most of the day, Jimmy.”

Before she could launch into anything, I cut her off. “Lucy before you start, I HAVE to tell you what happened today.” With as much detail as I could pull to mind, I told her about the family, the boy and his mention of Sarah Jane. Lucy’s family had gathered around and was listening intently.

“Jimmy, let’s go sit in the food court where we can talk.” I excused myself to the bathroom, changed into “civilian clothes” and joined Lucy and family in the food court. “Jimmy, I know you tried to find me 20 years ago. I just couldn’t let you. About three weeks after I left, I was out for a walk and not sure I would come back. My insides were still killing me. My heart was broken and my future was gone. As I was walking, a family met me from the opposite direction. The Dad stood a bit taller than you. The Mom looked our age then, maybe younger. The boy wore a green shirt and a precocious look. The Dad, Joseph, asked if they could join me. I shook my head ‘No,’ but they ignored me and crossed the road. Joseph was a carpenter. Mary his young wife and the boy was their only child. None of this meant a thing to me at the time.

As we walked, I relaxed for the first time since the abortion. After several minutes, the boy caught my eye. “Miss Lucy, You need forgiveness.” I stopped breathing. Next I knew Joseph was holding me up.  Mary gave me a drink from her trendy skin cantine and I revived. Just a few more minutes and we entered a small town. The lights were on at a small church. The four of us climbed the two front steps and found a seat in the back pew.

For some reason the pastor was preaching on the Christmas story in May. He told of Joseph the carpenter and Mary his young teen bride. He told of Mary returning home from her cousin Elizabeth’s while 7 months pregnant. Joe was going to divorce her, until God intervened. ‘Why didn’t he intervene for me?’ I wondered. The pastor told of their marriage and trip together to Bethlehem and baby Jesus being born. Such feelings of hate boiled, Jim. I hated Mary for getting to have her baby. I hated you for talking me out of it and I mostly hated me for ever walking into that clinic. I missed most of the rest of the pastor’s message. I guess he told stories from Jesus’ adult life.

I tuned back in when the pastor took us beside mother Mary at the foot of the cross. Mary had watched her son die a torturous death, even as little Sarah Jane must have went through. I still see her little face contorted in pain, Jim. They didn’t get her away before I saw her face. Mary watched Jesus’ extended death. I broke down. All the guilt, pain, fear and sadness just poured forth in great sobs. A little hand wrapped around my pinky finger for a second, as the pastor wrapped up.

‘Mother Mary allowed her son to die for your guilt and mine.’ He proclaimed. ‘No matter what causes your guilt, God is ready to forgive. For though Mary’s son went into the grave a broken body. He arose three days later as the son of God.’ The little boy’s grip tightened. I glanced down and no one was there! I scanned the whole church. The family was gone. ‘I invite you now to come and find peace with God through Jesus.’ I lay on the altar in tears for the better part of an hour. The pastor and his wife counseled and prayed with me and that little hand seemed to cling to my pinky the whole time.

Then God brought other miracles in my life. I never thought I would be able to trust a guy again, until Mark met me. We married with no hope of having children. My Ob/gyn was sure I could never conceive because of the abortion damage.”

“Well there is no way you can deny either of these children,” I answered, “especially you, young lady. You are your mother all over again. So you set that family on me.” I blamed Lucy.

“Not exactly. God has brought you to mind for the last few days and I have been praying that you would find God from the same sort of experience that I had. I had no idea you were even around here, until we turned the corner and saw you in costume.”


Feelings I had buried for over 15 years surged to the surface. I sunk into the table forehead on forearms shaking in tears. In great mercy, Lucy wrapped her arms around my shoulders, while the rest of the family gathered and prayed for me. In the middle of all the talking, prayer and confessing I felt a little boy’s hand wrap around my thumb with love.